Saturday, October 22, 2016

Hospitals and hunting

Given the title of this blog, I would much prefer to talk about hunting as our first week has been excellent with great dog work although the first part of the week was warmer than normal for this time of the year. Yesterday and today have been crisp and cool--perfect bird hunting weather.

But first, with apologies to my good friend Dr. Ron F., who is adding hospital consulting to his impressive resume, I have to rant a bit about hospitals. As far as I can tell, there is no difference between hospitals and the federal government when it comes to paperwork and screw ups. At least I know that there will always be a market for our pulpwood for paper because we have to fill out a ton of repetitive paperwork at each station. It would seem to me that a central server should have all of the data on file by now. I'm also positive that Martha now knows her name, birthday, and what she is at the hospital for.

We were scheduled to have her port implantation procedure performed on Thursday, Oct. 20th at 1:00pm. They placed us in a holding cell with a temperature of about 40 degrees. Martha had blankets on her, but I nearly froze to death. The nurses kept telling us that all of the operating rooms were backed up. However, I strongly suspect that they were punishing my surgeon buddy for opening his on surgical office. They finally took her to surgery at around 8:00 pm. The procedure went very smoothly, and Martha did fine.

However, by the time we got out, the SurgiCare outpatient facility had closed; so then the lunacy of hospital procedures kicked in. They would not dismiss her until they could admit her to a hospital room before dismissing her. They had a man's room available, but no women's rooms. I never realized that hospitals designated rooms by sexes. We FINALLY got a room, and it took us all of ten minutes in the room for Martha to perform her one chore. I helped her get dressed, and we finally got out after midnight , and arrived home about 1:00 am. We took the back roads home, and I could only drive about 45 mph as we drove through plantation country. I stopped counting deer on the side of the road at 45. I had to make certain that a deer did not decide to commit suicide by car, and damage my wife's fresh surgery. Oh, did I mention that we had to be back at Phoebe Putney Hospital the very next morning to see her oncologist.

I sure am glad that Cader IV and staff runs Riverview much more efficiently than this hospital does. Our English Cockers continue to impress everyone with their sweet dispositions, and flushing and retrieving skills. We certainly have a happier client list than Phoebe Putney Hospital does. If you have not made a reservation yet, I would encourage you to give Cader IV a call. We do still have some spaces available for groups scattered through out the season. We hope to see you at Riveview, and hope everyone is enjoying this fall weather as much as we are here!

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The 2016-2017 hunting season has officially opened

As the title above indicates, Riverview Plantation officially kicked off the 2016-2017 hunting season with the arrival of guests on Sunday, October 16th. However, it did not quite begin the way I had planned it. My plans were to go to church, and enjoy my first opening day as a semi-retired person sitting on my porch watching the vans arrive and listening to the guests shoot clay targets. However, I received a text from Cader IV about 7:30 Sunday morning informing me that he and his entire family had a horrible throw-up virus. He said that they had been up all night, and that the virus had not abated one bit.

So, the old war horse saddled up his pony, and came to work on opening day. I love being over 60 years old because I learn something new every day---and forget about six things that I used to know. Everything went smooth as silk, possibly because Jerry and Greg asked me to just stay in the office and answer the phone.

Since we are open, let me remind you that every day millions of innocent plants are being killed by vegetarians. You can help end this senseless violence by booking a quail hunt with us, and eating some delicious quail. The woods look great, and the dogs and guides are all doing superb jobs. From what I saw on the score cards yesterday, the quail are not cooperating too good by dropping dead at the sound of the shotguns. Maybe we need to teach acting acting lessons for our quail.

In closing this short blog, let me mention that both Jerry and Cader IV now feel that we are far enough along in our English Cocker training program that we may be ready to begin selling a few of them this year. We have one or two of these little warriors on almost every jeep now, and we have a good pipeline of young dogs in the background. If you see and fall in love with one of them while you are here this season, I think that we will at least be open to discussing some sales.

We hope to see y'all at Riverview this season!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Big cities

I don't know how much they pay folks who live in large metropolitan areas, but whatever it is, it's not enough! Circumstances have dictated that I have had to drive from South Georgia to the north side of Atlanta, Georgia several times lately. Driving on I-75 is akin to a NASCAR race. If you drive any slower than 82 mph, you will get run over. It doesn't help at all to have my built in speed nagger in the front passenger seat constantly telling me that I am driving too fast while I am fighting to stay alive.

However, the fun really begins once I near Atlanta. I remember flying into San Francisco several years ago, renting a car, and driving up into the wine country. There must have been 10 lanes of traffic, but everyone was strolling along at 55-65 mph, and they were all happy as a clam to let you change into another lane if you needed to get over. Now maybe they were all smoking a little dope, and on medicated peace and tranquility, but even though the traffic was horrendous, the driving was easy and pleasant.

NOT SO WITH ATLANTA TRAFFIC ! Once you approach the outskirts of Atlanta, you run into thousands of commuters who must wake up just plain mad at the world each day. They are all driving like speed demons, bumper to bumper, and hell bent for leather to get somewhere. I know where I want a good many of them to arrive, and it's quite warm down there.I'm the kind of driver who likes to keep a little distance between me and the car in front of me. In Atlanta, that is a veritable invitation for a driver to yank his car right in front of you.

Should you need to change lanes, nine out of ten drivers will close up on you if they see your blinker on just to make certain that you have no chance to get into the lane you need to be in. Consequently, you are unable to take the exit you need, and then that aggravating lady inside my GPS unit starts repeating," recalculating". She has been known to ask me to make an illegal U turn which would be tantamount to suicide.

By this time my built in speed control passenger in the front seat has finally stopped talking because her knuckles are white, and she has assumed the crash position as taught by the airlines. What these Atlanta drivers do not know is that I have a really big pistol in my glove compartment, and a smaller pistol strapped to an ankle holster. One of these days I'm going to poke that big, old Judge pistol of mine up one of their nostrils, and let them enjoy hyperventilating for a while like I do while trying to reach my destination alive.

I do not think any native southerners live in Atlanta any more. I know that we were all raised to be courteous and respectful of our fellow man. All of the drivers that I have encountered in Atlanta traffic remind me of the old song by Alabama that goes: " I'm in a hurry to get things done. I rush and rush until life's no fun. All I've really got to do is live and die, but I'm in a hurry, and don't know why".

As for me, I am so much happier driving on dirt roads and dodging deer. That's the kind of traffic problems I enjoy!